So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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