the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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