I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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