Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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