i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
