Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
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