I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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