i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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