alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's a Shit stain on my heart
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
