Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
