My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Im at strip club and am horny
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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