I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
