this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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