She's JV to your varsity
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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