covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
