That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
