Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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