I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I had to cum in my sink.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize