My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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