Please, let me fuck your mom
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
