I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
