If i come over, it means nothing
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize