She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
