I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
