rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
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I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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