I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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