He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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