yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
