He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Say something about gay babies.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
