Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize