OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
