I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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