i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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