Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
