I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
