if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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