Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
