hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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