I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
