as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
