you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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