Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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