I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
