The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
