I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
