My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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