I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
