My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
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I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So vagazzling was a success
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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