saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend