I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
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you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
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I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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