This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window