Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
