cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize