Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
