That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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