Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
