It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
