So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
